I just added another post on raising a democratic citizen to the Power of Respect blog. Today I discuss five harmful outcomes for our kids (short for children and teens) by using ruler-ruled parenting practices.

1. Blind Followers
2. Non-Thinkers
3. Resisters, Rebels, Revolutionaries
4. Bullies
5. Unfulfilled Lives

1.  Blind Followers: Do you really want your child to become a blind follower? If they are fortunate enough to follow someone who genuinely cares about them, they still have little chance of living a deeply fulfilling life, because they are not inwardly motivated. They have given up their personal power and let others direct their life. And what if they follow someone who does not care about them…

2.  Non-Thinkers: When parents insist on doing the thinking in the family, and if the child gives in and gives up, deciding someone else can think things out better than they can…How limiting…I cannot imagine that any parent would choose this for their child…here again, where is the fulfillment?

3.  Resisters, Rebels, Revolutionaries: This is an unfortunate position for a strong-willed child because too often they get locked into this position. It becomes a habit rather than a free willed choice. This is when it is harmful, limiting the person to always take that stance. It starts as a survival strategy and ends up ruling their life.

4.  Bullies: This is another sad position to be in. The bullies I have known have been inwardly wounded, if not tormented, people. They cause pain to others out of the pain they feel within. Too bad all the way around.

5.  Unfulfilled Lives: When a child is forced to look outside of themselves for what to do and not to do, they lose touch with their inner being. It is being in touch with the inner being that produces a fulfilled life. I’m sure that no parent intends to inflict this on their children, but many, many do.

Tomorrow, or soon, I will discuss how to avoid all of these harms.

Best Wishes To All,

Karen Ryce